What “ queer community”, paleface? (Part 1 and 2)


Here I am: writing a post for a queer blog while sipping a coffee I bought at the village. Xtra is on my desk, KD on my mp3 player. My messenger bag is a feminist and an anti- homophobia warrior, supports genderfree washrooms and trans rights, and goes to Cherry bomb and Buddies in Bad Times. Only 37% of my facebook “ friends” are cisgendered and straight. I’m an intern at a queer NGO. And, so on and so forth.

And still, I don’t believe in the so called “queer community”.

Pause. Free- association, the word is “ Community”. Circle of barefooted people holding hands, singing cheesy songs about friendship and love, and shouting in commanding voices “ love thy neighbor”. Potlucks. Signs and rallies. Bad poetry about vaginas and flowers. I’ll stop before I get a nightmare with Venusian granola lesbians and their lethal hug therapy sessions.

All right. I’m too skeptical and jaded to buy into “hippie” notions of an utopian community. But, I’m too young to accept our “ queer bubble” the way it is.

I cringe every time I hear or read the words “queer community”. What “ queer community” , paleface? Oh, I see, the “queer community” that has money to spare on fashionable clothes, expensive parties, and every thing else you throw at them…I meant, you sell to them. Or the “ queer community” that you’ve slept with, or that one of your friends has. No, maybe “ queer community” means those queers that circulate petitions, go to organizing meetings, and enlighten the rest of us of the latest anti-oppressive academic lingo…Ok, that’s enough bitterness for one post.

Actually, I would love to see a “ queer community” that goes beyond our tightly-closed and interconnecting circles of friends. A genuine connection between people. A sense of really belonging somewhere- without having to expend the money we don’t have or hiding parts of ourselves to fit in. Some kind of support, beyond the social work services. Pride- but not the corporate type that (only) happens once a year.

I’d like to walk down Church street, or even west queen west, and feel somewhat at home. Hell, I’d even settle for feeling safe and welcome in queer spaces (Transfobia and racism, anyone?). I’d love to see (more) people like me reflected in queer media. I’d like to see some political awareness (but not the “ I’m holier than thou” kind) , and some meaningful action. I’d love to burst the “ gay bubble” too.

I’m stoping for here now. What do you guys would like our community to be like? And more important, what’s “community” to you?



First: read the part 1 of this article, just above.

Yeah, I’d love to have a real and functional “ queer community”. Or communities- as a reader pointed out in the comments. Part of me truly believes this is possible, and wants to make it happen. The other part of me understands “ why” things are the way they are.

I cringe every time I hear or read the words “queer community”. The word “community” is as significant for me as the string of words “ I love you”. I don’t say “I love you” to every person I meet, or to every person I like, or even to every person that I fuck. So, why should I consider total strangers part of my queer communities?

Moreover, “Community” ( just like “ I love you”) is being used carelessly by people. It’s easier to use one or three (strong) words instead of actually explaining what you mean. Also, strong words evoke strong feelings- and that is a very powerful tool to manipulate people.

What do I have in common with a 50 years old WASP gay cisgendered male? Probably nothing. Let’s face it: we share very little with each other besides being queer. We all have multiple identities, and belong to different “ groups” . Gender and sexuality may be just (smaller) aspects of our lives. Besides, the last thing I want is to be assimilated into some sort of homogenous queer mob(all right, maybe just during Pride week).

So, why do we still evoke some sort of prancy communal spirit? Why a “queer community”, paleface?

All right: for some of us, being queer (or/and trans) actually shapes our lives- where we live, work, play, what we like, how we dress, etc. But, this happens largely because we still experience oppression. It’s easier to lock ourselves up in a “queer bubble” than to get out of our comfort zones and (possibly) face discrimination.

That said: there is a difference between “fear of discrimination” and actual homo/ transphobia. Probably we all have experienced both. There is a subtle difference between living in the “queer bubble” and accessing “safe spaces”. It’s up to us to pop the bubble and do it safely.

Yes, it all sort of relates to oppression. Our shared struggles are not over yet, and we shouldn’t take our “victories” for granted (Please G*d, I’ll be an exemplary old-fashioned girl for a whole day , if the Tories lose). How could I dismiss the power of “community” when we still need it? And the “lack” of a stronger community, in this circumstance, actually enrages me.

No, I’m not talking about “ holier than thou” academic type of activism. This sort of rancid activism is highly exclusionary (or patronizing) and counterproductive. For some of us, just conscientiously living our lives to the fullest is a much more practical form of activism.

Shall we cross-out “queer community” and “ activism” from our vocabulary? Instead, let’s use “ queer bubble” (or ghetto, if you want to be an un-PC radical) and “ consciousness”. That would solve half of our problems.

Seriously. I guess I should rewrite my wish-list for our ideal “queer bubble”:
- On a micro/personal- level: posses are fine. Some sort of individual consciousness wouldn’t hurt. It’s up to each one of us to get out of the “queer bubble”, and (also) claim our space inside it.
- On a macro/group level: more connections between different posses. Shift in activism “standards”. Recognition of diversity inside the “queer bubble”. Safety inside queer spaces is a must. And more anti-oppression awareness would be nice too.

When these things happen, I will proudly use the expression “ queer community” again.


Both texts were written/published at " The Pitcher" Maybe I'll follow the rule of threes and write part 3.

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